Sept 9-11 The Cotswolds

September 10, 2024

Sept. 9 saw us relocate from Stratford to Stow-on-the-Wold. Stow-on-the-Wold is Cotswoldian for “All the restaurants are closed.” We must have been a pathetic spectacle, wandering from one inhospitable venue to another like an elderly band of latter-day Oliver Twists, seeking any edible scraps we could find. Alas, two restaurants were closed for staff functions, the one in our hotel was hosting a private function, and a bunch more were shuttered because it was the twenty-fifth Monday after Groundhog Day, or something. We came very close to resorting to Chinese take-out, but were rescued when a second grovelling at our hotel, the King’s Arms, landed us an 8:00 slot. Phew!
Speaking of the King’s Arms, this is a hotel that has to be experienced to be appreciated. It’s probably our favourite inn so far, and we’ve had some good ones. The building is roughly 500 years old, but our room is spacious and very comfy. The interesting part is actually accessing this room. This is possible only if you have the balance and equilibrium of a Wallenda and some finely honed motor skills, and I think a prehensile tail would help as well.
The stairs are ridiculously steep and lean to the right until they lean to the left. It’s impossible to climb them without slamming into a wall (sober, at least). Once inside the room, the floor is so uneven that I put my I-Pad on the bedside table and it slid off. There’s a definite Dr. Seuss feel to the place.
I should note here that Don & Bev’s room is harder to access than ours. Their staircase is a glorified ladder, and there is definitely no bellman to help with the luggage.
As for the area itself, Stow is historically a sheep market town, and is remarably neat and trim considering its age. The Porch House Restaurant down the road (yeah, they were closed, too) claims to be England’s oldest and dates back to 947 AD.
We made a short road trip deeper into the Cotswolds today, to place called Bourton-on-the-Water. The Brits are very afraid of not being able to find places again if they don’t attach descriptors to their names. From Bourton-on-the-Water, we hiked through fields to neighbouring Lower Slaughter, which is lower than Upper Slaughter, which we did not visit.
Back in Bourton, Don and I took the time to take in the Motoring Museum, which was very cool and housed way more antiques and memorabilia than just cars.
The four of us also visited the Model Village that is a major attraction in Bourton. It’s a scale model of the town built with the same slate stone that the town is built of. It is so accurate that the Model Village contains a miniaturized version of itself (which in turn has a miniaturized version of the miniaturized version). Ouch! Now my brain hurts.
For the second half of the day we returned to Stow-on-the-Wold. Just as well. It was a rainy washout. We just hunkered down and enjoyed our crooked hotel.